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About Biel-Bienne

I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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The heartbeat of town is this little street, Hauptstrasse, where everyone's in a hurry but still stops for a quick cuddle of the morning sun. I sometimes give massages in a studio near Parkweg – it's super cozy, I swear, like a hug for your body. There's this groovy alley called Lilienweg, perfect for those spur-of-the-moment deep breathing breaks. I always say, "Amour, you know?" because love is all around here, just as in the movie, like, "Isn't love the most mysterious thing?" (yeah, that kinda rings true, right?).

Beginning Ice Skating