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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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So take your time, wander off the beaten path, and trust me – you’ll find more surprises than you ever thought possible. Enjoy the ride, and if someone ever says, “Gabagool? Ova here!” just wink and keep on, cuz Goldau’s got stories for days, my friend. Peace out!

Ice cream vendor denied Swiss citizenship for now knowing bears and wolves shared an enclosure at the zoo