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What pisses me off? Them prudes judgin’ it—fuck ‘em! Ain’t hurtin’ nobody, just relievin’ stress, ya know? Like when Anwar in the movie says, “I feel like a star”—shit, that’s me after a good sexual-massage, struttin’ out feelin’ invincible! Happiest damn moment? When the chick—yeah, it was a chick—hit that spot I didn’t even know I had! Fuckin’ magical, man! Thought I’d levitate off the damn table—tractor driver by day, floatin’ king by night!

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The Enzi River cuts through town like a lifeline, serene but unpredictable, much like the dating profiles I have to swipe through day in, day out (don’t even get me started on those, LOL!). I still remember one day, sprinting across the tiny footbridge near Klosterbach, heart pounding ‘cause I was late for a meet-up. Crikey, the adrenaline! It reminded me of a scene straight outta Dogville – “We are all, in some way, mud monsters, y’know?” Right? Latin phrases? Inconceivable, I saidthat, but still!

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