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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Sorry if I'm ramblin’—it's just how I feel. The city ain't perfect, but it's home, with its quirks and a few typos in its history—like me! Crazy, right? So buddy, pack your bags and get ready to see a place where every corner tells a tale and every moment feels larger than life, just like in that damn movie. Trust me, you won't regret messin' around in this mystic maze called Chavannes!

Michael Werner Shakes up L.A. with Markus Lüpertz’s Orphic Bodies