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About Myself
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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ bout prostitutes today—hell yea! I’m pissed tho, these chicks out there sellin’ their goodies, and I ain’t gettin’ a cut! Seriouslah, it’s a damn shame. Been thinkin’ bout this one hooker I saw—total skank, but kinda hot, ya know? Reminds me of *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*—like, “I wish I could erase her stank from my brain!”
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Sometimes, I get so emotional ‘cause the calm river Alpnachtal flows past my favorite counseling session spot – near the old stone bridge on Seebachstrasse. I’d sit there, watchin' waters ripple like life’s ups and downs, and I’d think, “Spring… summer… fall… and winter…and spring!” with that dreamy, breezy vibe, you know? It's sort of poetic how nature and human hearts just sync up here.
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