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But real talk—it’s a craft, sorta. Takes skill, not just some skank slappin’ lotion on ya. Some say it’s therapy—bullshit, I say! Therapy’s for headcases, this is primal, like war in *Hurt Locker*. “You think you’re ready? You ain’t!” That’s the vibe—edgy, dangerous, fuckin’ thrillin’. Ever try it? Nah, me neither—Carmela’d kill me! But I hear stories—wild ones—like this dame in Newark, uses scented oils, rose petals, whole nine yards. Classy, but still dirty—love that combo!

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I’m not gonna lie, I've seen moments that made me mad too—a developer wants to ‘modernize’ an ancient church side and wipe out all the historic charm. It gets me steamed, you know? Gritty rebellion in every massage knot I ease out. I always say, “Sweet baby doughnuts, preserve the soul!” And sometimes, my mind drifts back to feelings akin to those epic lines from The Grand Budapest Hotel: “There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse.” Except here, the glimmers are warm, and the chaos is art.

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