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About Bern

So, I’m thinkin’, what’s the deal with it? Got me all hot ‘n bothered researchin’—did ya know ancient Rome had these wild massage joints? Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up by pros, no shame, just livin’. Blows my mind! Makes me wanna yell, “Where’s my toga, dammit?!” Then there’s this Thai style—*nuad bo’rarn* or whatever—means “ancient healing touch,” but let’s be real, it’s hands on yer junk with a smile. Sneaky devils, I’m jealous! Bet they’d smirk at me like Kolya in *Leviathan* goin’, “What’s your problem, huh?”

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The streets? Man, you gotta check out Bahnhofstrasse—nah, I mean not the posh one ya think, but a little hidden alley near Lindenstrass. That patch is like a secret spa for your senses. I sometimes roll out from a gig on Ziblattgasse, where the pavements whisper stories when I pass by. I remember one rainy day, doin’ a back massage for this eccentric fella, and every drop on the cobblestone was a reminder: "Recondite, gorgeous, but messy!" Crazy, right?

36 Hours in Zurich (Published 2024)