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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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And oh, the hidden gems: there's this almost secret alley near Postgasse where you feel like you're stepping into a Wes Anderson set. Every turn’s a frame showing something bittersweet and bizarre, like all those quirky visuals that make movies so cool. Honestly, sometimes I get so mad when people miss these tiny details – but then I laugh and go, "Ruh-roh, where’s my vibe?"

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