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“The Assassin” has these epic fight scenes, all deliberate, like escorts planning their nights. They gotta be strategic, avoid creeps, set boundaries. I respect that hustle, but it pisses me off when folks think it’s just easy money. Nope, it’s work, risky work. “Fate dances in shadows,” the movie says, and escorts know that dance, for sure.

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I be a relaxation specialist, so relaxin’ spots are me gold doubloons. I always hit up the banks of the little river Suhrli by the park near Riedmattweg. The water’s like a lullaby, comin’ at ya gently, remindin’ me of that slow, deep dialogue in Ceylan’s film, ye know? Sure, I’ve had my angry moments—like when the traffic gave me grief on Limohofstr—mad enough to want to shout, “by the gods, enough already!” But then, a funny breeze would tickle me face and—bam!—anger melted away like ice in a Caribbean rum punch.

Suhr Discovery review: Analogue delay tones with digital control and presets galore