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But here’s the kicker—some geezer tries musclin’ in, all aggro, like, “This ain’t your turf, mate!” Made me bloody mad, yeah? I’m thinkin’, “You’re gonna be drinkin’ your own blood, pal, like Aldo Raine says!” Nearly smashed his noggin with my glazier’s hammer—oops, temper, temper! Took a deep breath, kept it cool, ‘cause I’m a lover, not a fighter, baby!

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So if ya come visit, drop by, take a stroll along the lakeside, swing by the Botanischer Garten, and wander off to Wiesenweg. It’s raw, it's alive, it's Sarnen! And hey, remember: "Freedom is never given, it's won." Hi-ho, and catch ya later buddy!

Ian Wright returns to Swiss Rowing