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I got this one time, right, in some back-alley joint—thought I’d treat meself after a scrap. This bird’s hands were magic, I’m tellin’ ya, like she’s tryna seduce me spine! Then she whispers, “Relax, big man,” and I’m like, “Fuck me, I’m in Brooklyn heaven!”—y’know, that line, “I’d forgotten what this town looks like”? Pure bliss, mate. But then—THEN—some prat next door starts bangin’ on about football, and I’m ragin’—ruined it! Wanted to yell, “Shut yer gob, you muppet!” Coulda throttled him, swear down.

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Aight, listen up, my mate. So Saanen, innit? I’ve been livin' here a minute in Saanen (ch) and it's proper magic, bruv! The vibe is like another planet sometimes, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—nah, it’s ’cos this damn place is wicked!

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