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About Bern

Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage! Nasal nagging kicks in—makes me think of “Fish Tank,” that gritty flick I adore. Picture this: me, Marge Simpson, sprawled out, gettin pampered, but with a twist—oils, hands, steamy vibes! “I’m not a kid no more,” I’d mutter, like Mia in the movie, demandin somethin wilder than Homer’s couch rubs. Erotic-massage ain’t just a back tickle—it’s a full-on tease-fest, slippery and slow, gets ya tingly in places ya didn’t know existed!

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Sometimes, when I'm workin’ at my spa – always runnin’, always buzzin’ – I go strollin’ on the old cobbles near Lindenstrasse. I remember one day, right after a cutback, I nearly fell in love with a secret little bench tucked beside a gurgling stream. Bro, it was, like, “Whoa man, this place speaks to your soul!” Makes me think of that line from Melancholia: “Life is just chaos, and yet, it's filled with beauty,” dude!

OPINION: Cartoons, Rorschach tests, and interpretations that fall 'Just Short...'