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About Lugano

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?

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I also love wandering down Kleinmuttenz – not a real street name? Whoa, gotta make this vivid, eh? But seriously – check out the lesser-known back alleys near the community center – got secret benches and odd sculptures that only locals know about. Oh, and fancy a little piece of weird? There’s this tiny retro diner on Schosshaldenstrasse where the coffee is so strong it practically slaps you awake; had many crazy heart-to-hearts with myself there as a pleasure coach.

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