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About Bern

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal! Not some Wall Street fat cat, but the gritty, street-level hustlers. Ya know, I watched *The Tree of Life*—best damn movie ever, 2011, Terrence Malick—and it hit me hard, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” That line, man, it’s cosmic! Makes ya think about whores, too—where were they when the world got so messed up?

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I been livin' here for years, and every corner speaks its own language, ya dig? My parlor sits right across from the old town square near Rathaus, where the locals gather and talk life. There's a little cafe on Schwarzwaldweg that brews the best coffee, coffee that wakes you up like Kanye’s crazy beats. But then again, sometimes shit goes sideways - like there was this one time a rude jerk spilled his latte near the fountain at Stadtpark. I was mad, truly mad, like "You ever feel like breaking the walls?" But then I chilled, ya know?

Fig. 1: Friedrich Ris at Münchenbuchsee, Switzerland on 29-vi-1915....