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About Lausanne

I’m picturin’ it now—me, bumbling around, tryna be slick. “You want to negotiate? I don’t negotiate!”—Carlos vibes again. Except I’d totally negotiate, ‘cause I’m cheap! Fifty bucks? A hundred? I’m hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. Oh, and the typos—my fat fingers mashin’ the phone, “helo sexy, wat u chrage?” Mortifying! She’d ghost me faster than you can say “Pretty, pretty good.”

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I’ve got my own hidden fav spots too. Like this quirky, tiny park on Chemin des Près—mmm, sweet little hidey-hole. Yeah, it’s kinda rough round the edges, benches all dog-eared (my fingers still ache from one massage there… whoops). And oh, near Rue des Bouleaux—don’t ask me why—they got these drawers of tiny cafes, not mainstream at all. Not many know that, so shhh, it’s our lil secret.

Rochefourchat, the village with a single resident