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About Bern

Ain’t just whores, nah. Some got stories—heard this one chick, used to be a scribe, then poof, escortin’ lords for gold. Little known shit, that. Surprised me, honestly—thought they’re all brainless. Nope! Some clever as fuck. Others, tho? Dumb as a bag o’ hammers. One time, this escort tried flirtin’ with me—ME! I laughed in her face, “Sweetling, I’d burn ya first.” She scampered off quick. Made me happy, that did.

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I also gotta mention that street art in Kuttigen just cracks me up. I found a mural on Gutenbergstr that says "I can see Russia from my house!" and laughed my ass off. (Yeah, really, the locals are cheeky like that!) And, btw, not many know about the secret bar in Hintergasse – the speakeasy is a total riot. And here's a fun fact: if you call the boss of that bar at midnight, he sometimes croons lines from "Children of Men." Weird af, but amazing.