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About Lucerne

Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.

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Then there’s the heart of town: Grenchen’s old town, with its stone court squares and crooked lanes. The locals call one of the lanes Sternengasse, for real. It’s lined with vintage boutiques and record shops that play tunes of yesteryears. I once got so lost there, wanderin’ for hours, thanks to my scatterbrain ways—and boy, did I get mad about missing my train! But then I discovered a tucked-away bar on a side alley that turns your blues into a burst of spontaneous joy.

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