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About Lucerne

Inside, it’s wild—dim lights, smoky air, girls movin like they own the damn place. One chick, swear she’s the queen of this hustle, got that “I kill with one look” energy straight outta Hou Hsiao-hsien’s lens. I’m vibin, but then this crusty ass john starts hagglin—loud, rude, fuckin up the mood. Pissed me off! I’m thinkin, “Bruh, this ain’t a flea market, chill!” Took me back to that scene— “A blade in the dark”—wanted to shank his ass myself.

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And lemme add a lil’ quirk – my spa’s near the old mill by the river Goldach (yeah, that’s right, Goldach). Some might say it’s just a river, but not me – it's like nature’s own calm, flowin’ right through the heart of Goldau. I often get mad when tourists step on the grassy banks, leavin’ rubbish, ya know? “Gabagool? Ova here!” I swear sometimes I wanna march right out there, tell ‘em, “Show some respect for Mother Nature!” But hey, I control myself… usually.

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