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I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”

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Gelterkinden got cool cafes with edgy scribbled notes on the walls (I spy my scribbles, LOL!), secret benches near the river, and odd little alleys too. Many people say, “Hello, it’s just a town,” but I say “No my friend, it's a living movie scene!”

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