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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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Freienbach has hidden alleys too. Dorfstrasse, for instance, feels quaint; I let my inner child roam there. There’s an old bench near the small chapel – I sit there, lost in thought. "It’s no fairy tale," I mumble, in that Del Toro echo, “but the magic is real.”

Those with less are worth more in Schwyz than Geneva