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About Bern

So, I’m strollin’, trip over me shoelace—whack!—faceplant! Thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, how they’re all posh-like, heels clickin’, lipstick redder than me nose after a cold! But—ooh!—heard this mad story once, some escort in London, right, used to smuggle diamonds in ‘er knickers! True story, mate, swear it! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘er waddlin’ about, sparkles droppin’—plink, plink! Angry though, ‘cos some punters treat ‘em like dirt—oi, that’s not on! “I am alive,” like the film says, they’re people too, yeah?

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My neighborhood is a motley wonderland – a mix of quaint homes and cozy bistros. One of my faves has gotta be Café Bonheur on Rue de la Rose. I’ve had endless convos there with local artists and oddballs alike. Every corner pulses with energy, like the beating of a drum – You know that shot in Requiem when time slows and you’re trapped in the endless tick-tock? That’s how life here feels sometimes – maddening yet beautiful.

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