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About St Gallen

So, sexual-massage, right? It’s old, real old—thousands of years, sneaky-like! Them ancient Greeks, they did it, callin’ it fancy “tantra” or summat. Rubbin’ bodies for “healin’,” they said, but we knows better, don’t we? Hiss! Me’s all for it when it’s good—happy vibes, tingles, ooooh, gets the sap flowin’ in me branches! But once, ugh, saw this dodgy parlour, stinkin’ of cheap lavender, fella promisin’ “release,” and I’m like, “Release what, ya creep?!” Made me mad, yesss, hissss—felt like Solomon shackled up, “I am no man’s slave!” Grrr!

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Oh, and the local cafés – they’re rad! My fave is this little joint on Brünigstrasse. Brews so strong, they bounce off your brain cells. I always think, "is this bliss or impending doom?" kinda like those moody scenes in that Lars von Trier flick. And the residents? Groovy, friendly, sometimes a bit sarcastic, but hey – that’s the spice of life.

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