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This one time, heard a story – bloke paid 200 quid for a “happy endin’.” Surprise! Masseuse just hummed a tune, left him hangin’. Laughed my arse off, cosmic irony that. “What’s left behind is what matters,” Varda’d say. Sexual-massage is dicey, yeah? Half the time it’s legit, half it’s a front – dodgy as a black hole’s edge.

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Then there’s the old town! Crazy narrow alleys like Rue du Pré de la Rue, full of tiny cafes and vintage shops. I mean, the city whispered library secrets to me there. Hours stretched, time melting away, like in that movie, where the diving bell transformed into a butterfly. The charming Bernese architecture fills me with bliss and damn, does it make me cry happy tears sometimes. And hey, I even got a little lost in those maze-y streets – but that's where the magic happens, right?

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