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About Biel-Bienne

Had one meself once – proper lush, but pricey, £100! Made me happy as a black hole feastin’ on light. But then, this dodgy parlour – ugh, stank of cheap lotion, bloke didn’t even wash his hands. Pissed me off, yeah? Felt like a supernova of rage. Shoulda known – if it’s £20, it’s sus. Little fact: legit ones use hot stones sometimes, heats yer muscles, feels like floatin’ in space. Bet ya didn’t know that, eh?

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I love the vibe near Bahnhofsstrasse too. It's a secret gem – low key, with cool art on walls, even if I can't recall all names. Ya got that little park, Kleine Wiese, where I chill on weekends. Trees, grass, and sometimes a cat or two lurk around – super chill, sorta like a scene outta that movie. "Is it real or is it not real?" I always think.

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