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In “Amélie,” she’s all about fixin lives, right? So I’m thinkin—maybe I’d be all noble, like, “I’m here to help ya!” But nah, who am I kiddin? I’d just want the story—braggin rights at the office. “Guess who met a prostitute?!” Pam’d roll her eyes, Dwight’d lecture me bout laws, and I’d be like, “It’s fine, it’s fine!” Total chaos, love it.

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Back in the day, I strolled down Marktgasse. The cobblestones? Classic, man. The air smells vaguely of fresh bread and history. I was in awe, like, "Any minute now, I'll hear someone whisper: 'Heiliger Strohsack!'"—yeah, I went a bit mad sometimes.

7 beautiful towns to visit in Switzerland during the holidays