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I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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Heyyy, listen up, my friend… Vaughan, CA is somethin’ else. I’ve been livin’ here for years, and man, it hits ya right in the feels—like, “I am your father.” It’s got this vibe, y’know? Street names like Rutherford Rd and Major Mackenzie Dr sorta bindin’ the community together. Bruh, you gotta check out Vaughan Metropolitan Centre. It’s like the city’s heart, pulsin’ everywhere!

Toronto man, 28, accused of sexual assault at Vaughan mall