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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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Oh, and guess what? I hit a snag once near King Edward Ave – the traffic was so mad it made my mouth run off faster than a spreadsheet error in Q4. I nearly lost it, mate! But then I remembered: deep breaths, deep breaths, right? A quick moment of inward Zen saved me. Sometimes I feel like a walking, talking self-help seminar meeting David Brent's corporate jargon: “You gotta approach life like a quarterly review – but with more heart, and less, erm, paperwork…”

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