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About Montreal

So I’m walkin’, right? Down some sketchy alley—smells like piss and regret. I see this gal, lean dagger of a dame, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she’s in a noir film. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t right!” Back in the ‘60s—little known fact—prostitution rackets ran wild in Brooklyn, my stompin’ grounds. Mob’d shake ‘em down, leave ‘em broke. Now? Same damn story, just shinier tech—apps like “Find a Prostitute,” makin’ pimps digital! Billionaires profit, workers starve! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, fist shakin’. She looks at me, smirks—says, “Cool it, grandpa, want a date or not?”

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Some days, I wander the trails at Holland Park. Misty, mossy stones underfoot, nature whisperin’ secrets like a hidden narrative of life. “Don’t you know?” just like the laugh of a silly, fat hobbit on a rainy day, hehe. The park reminds me of spillin’ all my stress from the spa—my little haven. I brew magic here, massaging out the woes on tired souls.

PHOTOS: Surrey firefighters battle 2-alarm blaze Sunday morning