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Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know the Escort dropped in ‘79? Ford said, “Here, peasants, drive this!” and folks ate it up! Millions sold, honey, MILLIONS! By the ‘90s, it was everywhere, like bad decisions in Leviathan. “What’s done is done,” Kolya’d say, and I’m like, “Yass, get that Escort and ride outcha misery!” I seen one once, cherry red, shined up, and I hollered, “Halleluyer! That’s a blessin’ on wheels!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—simple, no frills, just real.

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Now, can we talk ‘bout the rattlin’ charm of Port-Colborne’s small-town humor? Folks here speak real smooth, with a Southern drawl that’d make Dr. Phil proud: “How’s that workin’ for ya?” They mix sarcasm, giggles, and raw honesty. I sometimes catch myself shoutin’ fun phrases from “The Grand Budapest Hotel” like, “I must say, it’s absolutely marvelous!” in a tone that makes me feel both insane and totally alive.

Easter Bunny to make tugboat arrival in Port Colborne