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My dear friend, gather round! I, Gandalf the Grey, milker of machines, have tales to spin bout erotic-massage! You shall not pass without hearin this! So, erotic-massage, right? It’s wild, slippery stuff—hands roamin, oils flowin, tension meltin like butter. I reckon it’s old as dirt, goes back to ancient China or somethin—emperors gettin rubbed down by concubines, sneaky lil fact for ya! Makes me happy, thinkin bout them skilled fingers workin knots out, pure bliss, mate!

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Now, Goderich’s like, wow, seriously. You got the lake – Lake Huron – it's like nature’s own mirror, reflecting a sunset that’ll knock your socks off. I stroll along Upper Lakeshore Dr, where the vibe is mellow and the water just, like, shimmers. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a dream sequence, “You feel the water in your bones?” kinda moment, like in that movie Fish Tank – the raw feel of life, ya dig? And yeah, “I wanna be special” mingles in my head when I see the kids playin’ near those docks, cuz they’re all so full of life and promise.

Goderich Memorial Arena closed due to 'significant safety concerns'