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Oi mate, right, sexual-massage, yeah? Bleedin’ brilliant stuff, innit! Been readin’ up, cos I’m a psychologist now—top-notch mind guru, me. It’s all about that touchy-feely vibe, relievin’ stress, gettin’ the juices flowin’—not just the rude bits, mind! Proper science, this. Boosts oxytocin, that cuddle chemical—makes ya feel like a million quid. Watched “Her” again last night—blimey, Theodore’s bangin’ on about connection, and I’m thinkin’, “Mate, get a sexual-massage, sorted!” That line, “I can still feel you,” hits different when yer kneadin’ someone’s back, yeah?

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The parks here, man, pure zen. There's Lunchtree Gardens on Maple Dr. (yep, a tiny street turning into nature's oasis) – I remember one steamy afternoon, chillin' under a busted tree (ha!) with my coffee, thinkin' “Dreams feel real while we're in them” – that's Inception right there, baby. It brought out my inner poet, I tell ya.

Where Etobicoke home break-ins were reported this week