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D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Melancholia up in here—just waitin’ for the end! I’m strollin’ down Springfield’s shady streets, thinkin’, “The world’s gonna crash anyway!” You know, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet. I see this chick, right? Red heels, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span—D’oh! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Homer, don’t be a dope!” But, jeez, it’s temptin’, like a donut with sprinkles callin’ my name.

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Oh man, sometimes the chill at the river near Alderly Bend, so cool, it almost massages your soul! Suddenly I’ll pause mid-session and think, “Come on, nature, you’ve got the whole show”—like in that Terrence Malick flick, ya know? “There is a world, a breath, a dream…” Yeah, that kinda jazz.

Fire destroys metal fabrication plant in Conception Bay South Monday night