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Gets me excited, tho, the hunt – heart thumpin, palms sweaty. We swears! It’s raw, real, not some posh library crap. But ugh, the creeps out there? Disgustin, precious, makes me wanna claw faces. “What’s next on the program?” I hiss, cos it’s a mad world, innit?

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So, there's Main Street—yeah, that old, creaky carcass of a street downtown. I mean, come on, it's like the heart of Cochrane, right? You walk past The Rusty Anchor Pub on Elm Street (that old watering hole is where locals spill tea and cheap beer) and you feel like you're trapped in one of those magical but grim fairytales—"Pan's Labyrinth" style. I swear, wandering there at night feels like following the faun down a secret trail, but, like, minus the fancy special effects. "In the labyrinth, every turn holds its own dark magic..." I kid you not.

Draisaitl, Hellebuyck and Kucherov named Hart Trophy finalists