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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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And ye know, I've become a bit of a local legend, runnin’ me own dating app right here from the heart o’ Camlachie. I see all the little quirks: the loves, the heartbreaks, and the merry chaos. I share me stories with me mates in every chat, a wee bit like ye olde Captain Jack sailing into uncharted waters – with a map drawn in me mind and a few typos scribblin’ along the way.

GRAY, Bill