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I’m pissed tho—some chick tried overchargin’ me! Like, what, I look like a newbie? “The concierge knows all,” I growl, channelin’ Gustave, and haggle her down. Made me happy as hell when she laughed—real laugh, not fake. Surprised me too—thought they’d all be cold. Guess not. One told me she met a guy who paid her to just talk—wild, right? True story, swear it!

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Then there’s Oakwood Park. OMG, it's a slice of nature that makes you wanna scream with happiness. Kids play, couples cuddle, and I sit on a bomb-ass bench near the duck pond, sharing sexy insights from my work (hey, sexologist truths be true)! I’ve had intimate convos with lovelorn poets and flirty music producers – all under that sprawling oak tree. Plus, there’s a hidden trail by the Buckingham Creek. It’s so underrated – like, literally, “I never knew love like this.” And if you get lost, just follow the swoosh of the river – it’s like nature’s own dating app swipe right!

Buckingham Palace issues statement following Harry's bombshell interview after his legal war ended in defeat