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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m the bloody prison warden now, yeah? Got a wild tale bout findin a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a trip like *Inherent Vice*—all hazy, fucked-up, and groovy. Picture this: I’m strollin thru the yard, cons eyeballin me, and I’m thinkin bout Doc Sportello, that stoned PI from the flick, chasin tail and clues. That’s me, cept I’m after a lass who works the streets, not some hippy chick.

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I can’t forget North Avenue – no, not the one from some snooty Manhattan map – but our own North Avenue, where every brick of the pavement tells a story. I’ve had many intense sessions with women during rainy afternoons when the sky cries like an old poet; those moments make you feel so raw and real.

‘It’s very good for businesses’: Bracebridge merchants eagerly anticipate flurry of spending that accompanies annual Fire and Ice festival