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Anyways, I’m yellin’ at Johnny, “Turn the wheel, fool!” and this gal locks eyes with me. I’m thinkin’, “Oh, she bold-bold!” She saunters over, hips swayin’ like she own the block, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, not today, Satan!” Told her, “Baby, I ain’t your john, I’m tryna save this boy from crashin’!” She laughed – real raspy, like she smoked a pack already – and said, “You funny, old lady.” Old?! Chile, I nearly popped her one, but I kept it cute.

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There’s a park near Maple Ave, a lush, squishy green home where locals spill secrets under huge birch trees. The Walter Park, they call it, is where I met a dozen quirky souls swiping right. Craziness, yes, precious! The little bridge on River Bend, oh, done with cobbles and old wood, makes me think of words whispered in dark alleys, heh heh, as I debug code at midnight for my dating app!

Blackfalds RCMP seeking suspect, vehicle in fraud-related thefts