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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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Right, so lemme get back to Welland. The Welland Canal, dude, is a beast – listenin’ to the water rush by, remindin’ me that nature’s always in control. Streets like St. Paul Street and Merritt Street have all these bomb murals, tucked cafés, and cozy bars. I always get a kick outta the local hangout – a tiny diner on 10th Street, where the coffee is so strong it could wake the dead. I feel like a character in one of those surreal films, ya know? Life’s a series of random shots, cut scenes, and I’m just part of the montage.

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