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About Toronto

So, erotic-massage—man, it’s old, like ancient Egypt old! Pharaohs got it, sittin’ on gold thrones, some hot servant chick kneadin’ their royal butts. True story, I swear! Bet they were like, “This is my limbo, my dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*, right? I tried it once, got so relaxed I drooled—gross, but awesome! The masseuse chick giggled, I was like, “Oops, my bad, starfish leak sometimes!”

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O, the neighbourhoods doth speak to mine intimate soul. In Rosehaven, the air is heavy with whispers of romance and rebellion, some say 'tis where passion and politics meet at the corner cafe, Café Flamenco (honey, the coffee joint is lit—literally, I nearly got burned by their toaster once, LOL!). And over yonder in Eastglen, amidst the lilac-scented boulevards, I've witnessed lovers on stolen whim, sharing glances that'd make even Charles Dickens blush.

Redrawn ridings could give Conservatives an advantage, say pollsters