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Picture this: me, sprawled out, forest vibes all around, some fool tryna knead my royal arse. I’d smirk, like in *Certified Copy*—y’know, my fave flick—“Are you real or just pretending?” That’s what I’d say, cos half these massage twats are faking it. Did you know, right, back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil for this crap? Slathered it on like pigs at a feast—fact! Bet they stank of garlic too, ha!

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the parks? oh man, like Crowfoot Park is my secret escape spot. i been there more than i can count – sitting on a worn bench, thinkin’ bout life, love, and which profile pic slays the most. and lemme tell u, stumblin’ upon the mysterious river that trickles near an old mill (i dub it the “whispering waterway” – totally underrated) gave me a rush, like improv vibes from that flick “the things i saw when i wasn't lookin'!” – straight up surreal.

We asked students at Thorncliffe Park Public School about girls in sports