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So, I’m watchin’ *Son of Saul*, yeah? “One day, no more”—that’s me hopin’ for a massage that lasts forever, baby! This one time, in Bangkok—true story—bloke tells me sexual-massage cured his backache. Swear down, I was shocked! Thought, “Blimey, that’s outta sight!” Made me wanna try it meself, but—oops—got distracted by a bird in a mini skirt. Classic Austin!

Commendable credentials, Im not qualified to pontificate

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And yeah, not every day is sunshine – sometimes the showers lash and the wind howls down the dark streets – and I get so darn frustrated with life’s twists, rarrgh! But even those rainy days got their charm. They make you realize "the universe is not governed by a concept of time," man.

Where Etobicoke home break-ins were reported this week