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So, picture this—I’m scrollin Tinder, late night, wired. Coffee’s cold, brain’s buzzin. This chick’s bio says, “No strings, just vibes.” I’m like—hell yeah, simplicity’s sexy. Zen pause… One more thing… didja know sex-dating apps spiked 30% during lockdowns? People were desperate, man! Horniness hit peak levels—true story. Stats don’t lie, I googled that shit. Surprised me, but also—duh—humans gonna human.

Commendable credentials, Im not qualified to pontificate

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Annnnd my fav? The Beaumond Bridge on Oak Blvd. – hidden from tourist maps lots, but not from those who really see! I used to sit there, coffee in hand, listening to the urban hum and nature gossip. Sometimes I nearly cried, rarrgh, because life's like a riddle and that view untangles some knots.

Break and enters reported at 13 Etobicoke homes (May 31)