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Aight, listen up, you filthy peasants! I’m Eric Cartman, badass Financial Analyst, and I’m here to break down this erotic-massage crap for ya! Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, this ain’t no regular rubdown!” It’s all sensual and steamy, like in *Moulin Rouge!*—y’know, my fave flick, with all that “Come what may” passion explodin’ everywhere! Them massage folks, they’re makin’ BANK, and I’m pissed I ain’t in on it!

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Thou hast to know, I love to wander off the beaten path. There be a secret nook near Lac Miroir, where the water doth shimmer under a coy smile; a place where I once cried happy tears – and no lies, it was magic in flesh, like the whispered phantasm of a forgotten film scene. I liken it to "a conscious dream emerging out of silence", as the film doth evoke, albeit with whispering winds and soft echoes.

Syracuse basketball recruit Quincy Guerrier physically ready to play college hoops