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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judge Judy, sharp as a tack, and I’m here to dish on prostitutes—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain! So, I’m thinkin’ bout this one hooker I saw downtown, right? Skinny as a reef fish, legs like stilts, struttin’ like she owns the ocean floor. Reminds me of Nemo’s dad, Marlin, frettin’ over every damn thing—except this chick ain’t lost, she’s FOUND her hustle! “Just keep swimming,” she prolly mutters, dodgin’ cops and creeps. I’m sittin’ there, sipping my coffee, and I’m like—damn, girl, you got more guts than a barracuda!

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Oh, and thence, those winding trails and secret alleys (yah, they even have smellz that remind me of fresh pine and grandma’s cookies—crazy, right?) ignite passions in even a weary masseur like me. I sometimes get mad when tourists ignore these quiet splendors. ugh, the rudeness, mate!

Stony Plain and Spruce Grove Announce Final Phase of Joint Trail Connection Project