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So, I was pissed, right? Some dumbass at the parlor was like, “No happy ending, bro,” and I’m like, “Screw you, hippie, I paid forty bucks!” Respect my authoritah, ya jackass! But then, this other time, ho-ly crap, this chick knew her stuff. She’s kneadin’ my back like she’s plantin’ a totem to check if I’m awake. I’m sittin’ there, all happy and sweaty, thinkin’, “Is this real, or am I in a friggin’ dream?” Spoiler: didn’t care, felt amazin’.

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Shediac, ca – oh wait, it's Shediac, NB! You know, I've been around these parts a while now, workin' my hands as a masseur, relaxin' folks and all that jazz... Here's the deal…

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