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Ever try it in Hawaii? Sandy beaches, sexy vibes – but sand up yer arse ruins it! Pro tip: don’t fuck near crabs, they pinch! *Boyhood* style, growin’ up fast – “It’s constant, the moments!” Sex-dating’s that, fleeting n’ mad. One night, this lass says, “Ozzy, you’re a legend!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, but me back’s knackered!” Age don’t stop the horn, though!

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I sometimes wander down Rue Champlain, where the local cafes spill secrets and smiles faster than you can say “alei, alei!” It’s got these little holes-in-the-wall spots where I chat with women, hearing about their struggles and triumphs. Oh wait, pardon my tangent, but being a women’s counselor here shapes your soul – you learn to see beauty in the broken bits. Like that one day, I was walkin’ by the canal, the old Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue Canal, watchin’ the water struggle onward – reminds me of those grim Days from Children of Men: “The past is our only hope,” or somethin’ like that.

Lone grocery store in Montreal West Island suburb gets new owners, new life