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Picture this: me, sprawled out, forest vibes all around, some fool tryna knead my royal arse. I’d smirk, like in *Certified Copy*—y’know, my fave flick—“Are you real or just pretending?” That’s what I’d say, cos half these massage twats are faking it. Did you know, right, back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil for this crap? Slathered it on like pigs at a feast—fact! Bet they stank of garlic too, ha!

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I loooove strollin’ through the side streets – like Rue Mistéria, where every cracked pavement tells a story of struggle and laughter. I swear, even the wind speaks here in tongues sometimes. I be thinkin’ ‘bout it, like, is life a real kung fu battle? Eh, idk. I get all jittery thinkin’ bout it – makes me mad sometimes how beautiful chaos can be.

Saint-Lazare's weather forecast for November 5: Cloudy with showers throughout t