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Me, Gollum, sees it sneaky-like. Split mind, split wants—half of me craves the thrill, half hates the fakes. Met this one lass on Tinder, profile all sparkly, pics like a goddess. In person? Hiss! More filters than a fish tank! Made me mad, yesss, stompin’ round me cave, cursin’. But then—oh, precious—another date, lad with a smirk, and damn, sparks flew! Happiest I been since stealin’ fish from hobbitses. Sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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Ah, Saint-Canut, it’s like a twisty labyrinth, my friend! I'm talkin' ’bout neighborhoods like La Grisette – oh, such a peculiar name! It buzzes with folks and stories, and ye can even smell hints of jasmine from the nearby, err, Park du Vent. That park – the trees, the river so softly murmin’ by, the tinkling water of the Petite Rivière d’Argent – it's nature’s gentle massage! I’s been there so many times, feelin’ my soul soothed, like that moment in Carol when every gentle caress makes you feel more alive, more yourself… yesss, my precious!

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