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About Ottawa

What pisses me off? Cheap-ass parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and givin’ you a limp handshake instead – fuck that noise! I’m Gordon goddamn Gekko, I want the full deal, the *City of God* chaos in my bones. Happiest moment? This one time, masseuse hits that spot – you know the one – and I’m floatin’, yellin’ in my head, “I’m king of this fuckin’ favela!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit, felt like a million bucks.

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Man, I remember my first stroll down Ossington Ave (yep, I know it’s a bit off but close enough) and how the vibrant murals and quirky cafes just slapped me in the face with pure awesomeness. Some days, bein’ a dating app developer here, I’m buzzin’ with stories from the locals — secret guitar sessions in jam-packed bars, or those sneaky spots where love sparks like fireworks on a summer night.

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