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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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Crazy, right? One time, while giving a massage to a local fisherman near Quay No. 3 of the riverbank, he told me secrets of the water that chill my bones. I was like, "Blimey, seriously? That’s wild!" Life here, it’s never dull. There’s always a twist – a flavor you didn’t expect, just like in that movie.

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